We, the undersigned (“the LawWorks Team”), do hereby wish, but do not in any way guarantee, you (“the Reader”) a reasonably happy festive period, including, but not limited to: Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Festivus, and/or Boxing Day.
Furthermore, the undersigned hereby wishes the Reader, but does not in any way guarantee, all the success in the twelve-month period from the date hereof, to which the Reader is legally and reasonably entitled to expect.
In accepting this wish, the Reader hereby agrees to indemnify, defend and hold the LawWorks Team, Santa Claus, Mr. Claus’ employees or indentured servants (“Elves”), Jewish rebel warriors (“the Maccabees”), the founder of Kwanzaa (specifically, Maulana Ndabezitha Karenga), the founder of Festivus (the fictional character known as “Frank Costanza”), or any of their licensees, licensors, consultants, contractors, sublicensees or agents (collectively, “Representatives”) harmless from and against any and all damages or other amounts payable to a Third Party claimant, as well as any reasonable or unreasonable attorneys’ fees and costs of litigation (collectively, “Damages”) arising out of or resulting from any claim brought by a Third Party based on: (a) breach of holiday cheer, (b) breach or misapplication of any applicable holiday tradition, or (c) gross negligence or willful misconduct due to an overabundance of holiday cheer, or misapplication of any applicable holiday tradition.
In the aforementioned references, the undersigned does not concede the existence of Santa Claus, nor indicate any preference for any particular belief system, or any of their related traditions.
Pursuant to the previous clause, the undersigned does not deny the existence of Santa Claus, nor do they question any particular belief system, holiday, or related tradition.
All claims and disputes arising under or relating to this Agreement are to be settled by binding arbitration in the state of gratitude, or another state mutually agreeable to the parties, including, but not limited to peace, joy, goodwill, awe, wonder, unity, self-determination, collective work and responsibility, cooperative economics, purpose, creativity, or faith.
This constitutes the entire agreement between the contracting parties concerning the festive period hereof.
With tongue firmly in cheek,
The LawWorks Team